Proof That My Mother Is Insane/Ignorant (LIVEJOURNAL)

I think it’s a fact that my mother is out of her mind. Not as an opinion, but as a fact. Here’s the situation that happened today, as I IM’d to a friend:
ComicsGn: my mom wants me to empty my desk and remove the computer so she can take my desk to use in her “office”. but there’s another desk just sitting there that is already empty and perfectly useable. she says the empty one is too big to fit against the wall. but it DOES fit on the opposing wall. she doesn’t want it on that wall tho because the window is right there, so it would get hot from the sun. BUT she has a large closet/cabinet thing that can be put next to the desk to block the sun. she also wants better lighting, so i offered her the desklap i never use. now here’s the question: should she realize how much sense im making and accept the slightly larger desk, or should i rearrange my entire desk unit and computer just so she can have a desk 5 inches smaller?
So basically she wants a desk that 1) fits in the room, 2) has good lighting, and 3) won’t get too hot from the sun. There is a desk that already has the drawers emptied and nothing on top. She could use that, and place the cabinet next to it to block the sunlight. I have desklamp for her to use as well. But no, this makes too much sense for little mind. Instead she wants me to empty MY desk, which is full, and remove MY computer and switch them to the other desk. What the hell?! My desk is placed in such a way and is such as size that switching it to a larger one will completely through off that area in my room. I’ve got framed drawings on the wall, a large erase board, not to mention the computer and such. I offered her a simple solution so she could get what she needs without affecting my space. Not only has she decided to be a bitch and force me to go with her idiotic plan, but she also called my grandma to bitch to her about what a horrible son I’m being!!! FUCK!!
    —————————————–
    HERE IS A LIST THAT POINTS TO THE SAME CONCLUSION OVER MY MOTHER’S SANITY, OR LACK THERE OF:

  • She went in my room today and said I should reposition the comic boxes on the floor. Except there ARE NO comic boxes on the floor. I put them in my closet over a month ago…
  • She won’t allow me to watch The Simpsons because, years ago, a woman at our church told her it didn’t build family values. Since then it’s been banned in this house, even though she NEVER watched it for herself. Oh, and I AM allowed to watch Family Guy!! (?!)
  • I brought a book called “The Gospel According to the Simpsons” home from a teacher at school to help convince my mom that the show is harmless. I wanted her to at least read the first 10 pages and be open-minded about it. Instead, she grabbed my face and looked at me as though I were possessed and said “David! I know you’re in there!”. Then when I knocked her hand off of me, she ran out of the room crying hysterically.
  • I occassionally buy these Marvel Legend action figures, which come with a free comic book. I bought a Punisher and a Ghost Rider and displayed them on my dresser. My mom saw them and said that they looked too dark and should be removed. She went on to theorize that these “evil” figures were causing recent arguments in the household.
  • My mom discovered a job that I could likely have for next summer which has good pay and solid hours. I’ve been unemployed this summer, and she constantly complains about it and calls me a bum. Today she said she WON’T recommend me for the job because of the way I’m “acting” and she might not even give me the contact information so I can apply. So she’s furious that I have no job, but when a job comes along she won’t give me information about it…?
  • My mom wishes I had more interest in clothing. Whenever we go shopping I usually don’t care what they buy me. So the other day we go to Old Navy (clearance day of course) and my mom is pointing out these $5 shirts. They looked like garage sale material, as though someone else had worn them before. So I see a $12.50 t-shirt that I actually like, I’m finally showing interest, and she says?…..”That’s too expensive.” TOO EXPENSIVE?! Anything under $15 is NOT expensive unless a person is totally fuckin’ poor. This isn’t so much proof of craziness, it’s just plain sad. My friend even bought me a $18 shirt for my birthday, dammit!
  • I was watching Whose Line Is It Anyway, and during a segment Greg (on the show) said the word “penis”. My mom overheard and said to my dad “He fills his head with stuff like this…no wonder he is the way he is. It’s filthy!” It’s important for me to note that this show is rated PG and airs on ABC FAMILY. What CAN I watch? PAX?! The “Catholic Channel”?? I once told my mom that its important to have a balance between a religious life and a worldly life. You can’t just shut out one or the other. Her response? “I hate the world.” That’s just complete and utter ignorance.
  • My mom hates philosophy because she blames various things on it, such as my decreased faith in Catholicism. So anyways, I took Intro to Philosophy in college, and I wrote this really great paper that the teacher actually used (partly) for one of his lectures. I was really proud of it, so I brought it home for my mom (and dad) to read and both refused. I just couldn’t beleive it! Their paying for my education and they won’t read the fruits of it? I was severely disappointed that my own parents wouldn’t even glance at the paper. While both my parents utterly failed here, my mom is included so it makes the list.
  • I was telling my mom about how the universe is constantly expanding, evidenced by the stars moving farther apart. But how can something infinite get larger? While telling her about this fascinating subject she just walked out of the room and I said “Wait…where are you?..” and she said “I don’t like to think deep.” Mind-boggling!
  • We have 2 AC units in our house, both of which are downstairs. So my room, upstairs, gets sickeningly hot. I told my parents we should move 1 AC upstairs since cold air sinks. But my mom tried to make her own logic up to counter the idea. “Oh, the cold air will just blow up there eventually. It’ll go up the stairs.” Except cold air goes DOWN according to the basic laws of science. I mentioned this for months. Just recently, my dad moved an AC unit upstairs. It took them a helluva long time before they understood that I didn’t invent the concept of hot air rising, cold air sinking.   
This Livejournal sometimes closes for no good reason, so I’ll save and stop for now. I’ll be adding to this list in the future though.
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