Why My Parents Are Fuckin Dirtbags (LIVEJOURNAL)

          I come home from an excellent day in the Adirondacks with friends (Dwight and Kellen), and walk into bitch central. I had called home from Dwight’s car to let my parents know where I was and that I was on my way home. I was being a good son and updating them on my whereabouts. But when I got home, my dad gets upset that my friends were making noises in the background. And he said that if I don’t tell them to stop, that HE’LL make them stop. The fact is, it was DWIGHT’S cell phone, and DWIGHT’S car. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. So lets get this straight. My dad is mad because I called him, being the good son that I am, because of mild background noise? I told him I just won’t call anymore if he’s going to be so petty. Which naturally led to yelling because I “back talked”.
         Then my mom starts saying that my friends are all really immature. So not only does my dad bitch over petty nothingness, my mom decides she has the right to judge my friends? Which is ironic because it was my mom who said that Dwight specifically is a “mature kid because he’s kept a steady job and is excelling in school”. So make up your mind mom, you stupid bitch, before you decide to toss insults around. I asked her, “so besides making noises while I’m on a phone, how elseare my friends immature?” And she said, “Don’t you see it? In everything they do?” Wow. Just…wow. I asked a question and all she does is ask me EXACTLY what I’m asking. If I knew, I wouldn’t ask would I? FUCK!
          Then of course the subject changed to my lack of employment. My mom knows someone who would hire me for NEXT summer for $9.45 an hour organizing papers and stuff. Sounds like great pay for easy work, right? Well my mom takes the time now to say that she WON’T help me get the job. I said to her, “That’s fine. Just give me the number and I’ll apply myself.” And she said?….”no”. Naturally upset, I said “So you’ve been telling me for months about how badly I need a job. And now that there is a job potentially lined up for next summer, you won’t give me that contact information EVEN thought I’ll apply myself without your recommendation? I’m not asking for much, just a number. And you’re saying that you won’t give me this simple piece of information? You won’t help me get what even YOU want me to have? Is that correct?”. And she said, “No, I’m not giving you anything!” And my dad says “You sit around all summer without a job…what would you even put on the application anyway? Do you think you’d get the job after all that?” Which was the most fuckin stupid thing he could possibly say, because basically he said that I shouldn’t bother applying for any job because my 3-month unemployment would prevent me from getting hired. And he’s been bitching about getting a job all fuckin summer!!
           Then they mention about how I’m always leaving the house with all this free time I “shouldn’t even have”. I told them that I’d be home more often if we did things together. But because we don’t, I leave the house. I said “Mom stamps her greeting cards, Danielle (my sister) does whatever, and Dad watches sports! What am I SUPPOSED to do?! Sit home and do nothing with anyone??” And of course my dad, always missing the point, yells: “Are you telling me not to watch sports in my own house??”. God, he is such a dumb ass…instead of recognizing that our family rarily does shit together, he just sees a threat to his sports obsession! Fuckin idiot…anyways…so yeah. Then he tops it off with: “Do you think you deserve to be rewarded? For doing nothing with your summer?” Then mom chimed in, “And doing nothing at ALL? For having no ambition or desire to do anything with your life?” (Back to dad) “You think you should be REWARDED FOR THAT?!” And I really lost it and said “Mom you don’t do shit to do things as a family, dad you don’t do shit to do things as a family, and now you’re both saying that doing things together is a reward? It’s not a reward!!! It’s what FAMILIES ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! What is so fuckin wrong with you people?!” I had even proposed that we simply play card games once in awhile, to spend time together as a family. And my mom said to that: “Your father doesn’t play cards.” Wow, way to be intelligent, douche bag. My mom, Danielle and I could play cards then! Or we could ALL do something else! It was an example, God!! Such stupidity it blows my fuckin mind!
           Then that job came up again and I said “All I’m asking is that you be good parents and help me, your son, to get this job! And all I need is a freakin’ phone num—” then my mom cut me off and said: “How dare you! How DARE you call us bad parents!! HOW DARE YOU!!!” At this point she’s about to really let loose the waterworks. So my dad gives me a look of absolute hate and says “We’re done. This is…WE’RE DONE!!” and slams the door in my face.
         Oh, and did I mention that they’re going out of town for their anniversary on Wednesday? And that during that day no one is allowed in the house or allowed to leave the house AT ALL?? Yeah, my parents are absolutely dirt bags. Then while my mom is crying behind the closed door, I hear my mom say “How can he question that we care about him?” And I yelled back “Yeah, you show you care through money!!” Which is true. They pay for my food, clothes, shelter, the vast majority of the college bills…but do they just show genuine affection or act like they truly care about ME without writing a check?! And even when they do pay for things they bitch about the high college payments and only let me pick shirts from the $5 bin at Old Navy, even when the only shirt I want in the whole fuckin store is $12.50, which I know is way too fuckin expense for frugal bastards. Oh, and during the whole argument my dad threatened to kick me out of the house again.
And this all happened TODAY in ONE HOUR. Imagine what happens over a week, a month, or 19 fuckin years. Sonofabitch…it’s amazing I’m not severely fucked up by this hell hole. I don’t drink regularly, smoke, or take drugs, I go to church and, shit, I haven’t even had sex! And yet I’m a total disappointment to them? Fuck them! You hear me mom and dad?
FUCK YOU!

It’s worth repeating: my parents are fuckin’ dirt bags.
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