Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I had the week off of work, as did my girlfriend Kym, so I drove out to see her in Rochester. We talked about seeing Batman at the IMAX theater, going to Six Flags, picnic in the park, painting in the yard…all sorts of fun stuff. Then out of the blue, on the second evening at her house, she informs me that she isn’t sure if she still loves me. When it came down to it she wanted a break. She’s always been in one relationship or another since middle school, so she doesn’t really know what it’s like to be alone. Apparently she wants to discover what that’s like.
In my (perhaps overly hopeful) opinion, I feel that she simply needs space to figure out how much she cares about me. Constantly being involved with someone makes being with a person become…ordinary. I can understand how that could wear on a person, even though I myself have never had a girlfriend before Kym came along. I’ll admit I pleaded and tried to reach a compromise. Perhaps she and I could lessen our phone conversations, take a step back, something! But she was dead set on taking a break. Initially it wasn’t given a time line, she said it could be weeks or even months. But the longer I wait around the longer I’d become hopeful…and then if she wanted to end it completely I’d fall apart. So we at least agreed that we could re-evaluate things in mid-August, just before our initially planned roadtrip to Virginia. If all goes well, we’ll be together again and enjoy a great week together before school starts back up.
But in the meantime, being in limbo sucks.