People I Don’t Care For ~ A Love Story by Dave

People that make a complaint, are provided an explanation, but then repeat the exact same complaint as though nothing had just been said. There are only two intelligent ways to respond to an explanation: accept it or ask further questions if it was unclear. Either option is productive but repeating yourself just makes you sound like an idiot.

People that are overweight, obese, or morbidly obese and still saunter into a fast food restaurant without any hint of shame. If you look grotesque and don’t give a shit about your health, at least have the decency to use the drive thru window instead of assaulting our eyes. Nobody wants to see your fat jiggling as you walk out with a Big Mac and a large milkshake. Nobody.

People that say “I’ll be over around 3:30” and then show up over an hour late (or not at all) without providing an update of some kind. I have things to do and other people I could see, so don’t leave me hanging around waiting for your ass to show up if you know damn well you never will. It’s not insulting to say “Hey, something came up” or “Hey, I’m going to be late”. It’s called being considerate.

People that call someone a “creeper” for looking at their facebook wall or commenting on their photos. It’s a public profile, emphasis on public. When you accept people as friends you should expect them to look at your photos, read your wall, read your info, etc etc. You were added because people are interested to learn more about you, so stop being shocked or offended that someone is literate enough to read the personal information you’ve so freely provided to them.

People that respond to a craigslist ad and still manage to come off as cheap. Example: I listed a $100 video gaming chair and a person asked how much I wanted for it and I replied “Well, it’s practically brand new so $25-30 would be fine.” By all rights, that’s an absolute bargain. So the person replies: “Would you accept $20?” Get a fucking job, jew-bag.

People that doubt global warming, think homosexuals don’t deserve equal rights, still believe there were WMD’s in Iraq, think it’s okay for America to commit acts of torture, love Sarah Palin, think Obama is a Muslim or from Kenya, and those that claim to know(not just believe) that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and that anyone who disbelieves will burn in hell for eternity…etc. If you don’t accept science, reject equality, or outright deny reality, then you’re either misinformed, ignorant, or delusional. Either way, stay away from me. But please feel free to pick up as many Big Mac’s as you want.

People that don’t respond to text messages. If you’re busy then that’s fine, just let the person know later “hey, sorry I couldn’t reply because blah blah blah”. If you don’t get a chance to reply for hours then that’s still fine. But don’t blow it off. There is still such a thing as proper etiquette, though it is exceedingly rare these days.

People that complain about the winter cold but have absolutely no plans to ever relocate. Same goes for those that build ocean front properties, see them destroyed by hurricanes, and then rebuild in the same location. If you hate being cold and you hate having your house destroyed, pack your bags and go to a place where that won’t happen. If you’ve already settled down with a family and moving is thus an unlikely endeavor to accomplish, then maybe you should have planned ahead. The pope might not like birth control but hey, he doesn’t have sex anyway so what does he know?

People that wear neon green sweat pants. The style of pants implies enough, don’t add insult to injury. And no, St. Patrick’s Day or Christmas is not a good enough excuse. There IS no good excuse.

People that own an Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, AND a Playstation 3 but struggle to pay their bill to National Grid. For starters, all three systems collectively cost a grand which is nearly double the amount of rent for many people. Also, very few games are exclusive to any one system so the need to own all of them is non-existent. To top it off, having all three of those beasts jacked into an outlet will make your electric bill even more unaffordable. So tell me… what the fuck are you thinking? Video game systems aren’t Pokemon. You don’t need to “Catch ‘Em All”.

People that laugh at shitty jokes. If a 22-year old says “Are we there yet?” in a childish whiny voice during a long car ride and everyone chuckles, all that does is encourage the moron to continue being lame. I condemn the idiot that made the joke, but not as harshly as those who would reward the continuation of agony.

People that ask you to spot them and say they’ll pay you back later… but then don’t because they claim you owed them for “something else” anyway. If I just lent you twenty bucks with the understanding that you’d be paying me back twenty bucks, then I expect to receive that twenty bucks whether I owe you more for some other shit or not. If you think I’ve owed you fifty then be upfront and say “hey, you owe me fifty so how about you pay twenty for this and then you can owe me the other thirty?”. Simple.

People that scoff at the idea of legalizing or even decriminalizing drugs that are currently illegal, yet wake up and down caffeinated coffee on a daily basis. You’re a drug addict like any other junkie, so shut that hole in your face before you cement yourself as a Grade-A hypocrite. (FYI marijuana, lsd, and shrooms are all non-addictive substances and safer than cigarettes or alcohol. Look it up.)

People that declare where they stand and then when asked why merely repeat their position. For example, I asked my dad if I could bring my new kitty over to the house for Christmas morning. He said “I’d rather you not.” When asked why, he replied “Because we’d rather not have the cat here.” I pushed one more time with “You said that twice, I’m asking why it’s an issue?” and his reply was “Because that’s how I feel about it.” It’s one thing to have an illogical reason for something, that alone is a non-intellectual way to live, but to not even have a reason? At all? Slap on a dunce cap and sit in the corner, skippy!

to be continued…

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