Just Keep Swimming

Whenever I hit a bump in the road, I remind myself that I started my debt-burdened post-college life being evicted by my own parents in 2007… with only a shitty van and 50 bucks to my name and no job. And then a year later the economy went to utter shit. Whatever means I had to utilize, none of which I am ashamed of, I clawed my way back after a couple brief bouts of being homeless without ever borrowing a single dime from anyone. Ended up being an educator for special needs kids and made good money doing it.

Upgraded to a Prius and with 10k in tow, I finally set sail for Los Angeles in Oct 2011 and made it onto television, got my feet wet in the field of voice acting, and did otherwise fine financially. Then, just as everything was coming together… prison happened. Over an old bullshit warrant from that shithole state of NY. Car had to be sold, finances were ruined. Devastating setback. Went through hell but AGAIN clawed my way back without borrowing a dime, got another Prius, doubled my record savings… but invested WAY too much of it. Now? My stock investments are in the tank but once my gamble pays off (and I’m VERY confident that it will) and my retroactive benefits are triggered, and I work my ass off this summer… I should be returning to Los Angeles with at least 20k in the Fall.

And it’s all uphill from there!

What I need now… is a little more confidence. That used to be my strong suit, but prison really made me question things too much, made me think that everything really is simply merciless and random and that good people never get to move up. When you’ve been investing in the future and sacrificing so much of the present for so many years, that kind of questioning opens the possibility that it was perhaps all for nothing. I need to remind myself that it wasn’t, it isn’t, and it won’t be. I have to trust that things will come together, that it was worth it.

I have to trust in myself again. And be patient just a little longer…

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